This is Spinal Tap?

Strange but true...for Simpsons and/or Spinal Tap fans.

Did you know that Harry Shearer, who voices Mr. Burns, Smithers, Principal Skinner and a slew of others...is in fact the same person who played Derek Smalls in Spinal Tap?

Strange indeed.

SPAM

SPAM is f$%^in ridiculous. Yahoo has been doing a decent job of filtering most of it into a bulk folder...but when I go to sift through it and delete, I am continuously surprised at the BS people are pushing via e-mail. The subject lines in and of themselves are amusing..just received one message "Polar Hound"..WTF? How is that supposed to entice me to open an e-mail? "What?! A Polar Hound?! I must have won some sort of snow dog of some sort, I better open this e-mail and check. Oh...shucks, it just an ad for Vi@gr-a! and some junk stock, might as well order some!"

Does this actually work? It must or else, the continued effort to flood us with it wouldn't be there. But I mean, WHO exactly is opening these things and thinking it is a good idea to investigate further?

Fresh Hounds! [to appreciate this subtle reference...one must be familiar with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and the skit in which he interacts with a variety of Star Wars fans waiting in line for a premier...top drawer comedy...guaranteed to make you laugh]

Get into This

Just discovered the Neverending White Lights...basically a studio/songwriting whiz, who has gathered a heavy team of vocalists to guest on each of his tracks. Features, Raine Maida of OLP, Nick Hexum of 311, Todd Kerns, formerly of Age of Electric and others. Some pretty ambient, moving music.

Check out the track "The Grace" ft Dallas Green of Alexisonfire.

http://www.neverendingwhitelights.com/

Peeves

1. Doubling of letters in business names to apparently make more impact, avoid copyright infringements and also to mangle the English language. For example, as seen in Montreal yesterday...JAGUARR Furniture. Not Jaguar folks....JaguaRR! The appeal is obvious...."Yeah, we're thinking of picking up a JAGUARR [couch]".

2. People who misuse LOOSE vs LOSE. ie. Ottawa better not loose in the first round of the playoffs.

3. The fact that it seems nobody in the world who is a proprietor of a restaurant can spell Caesar, as in salad, or the drink. Ok, maybe it's not the owner, but rather, the impish waif tossing cocktails who got her mitts on the dry erase marker for the sidewalk sign...but whatev. Almost everytime I see it...it is some new variation: Ceaser, Ceasre, Caezer, Seizure, etc...ad nauseum.

Old Man

Went to a workshop yesterday afternoon. Sat at a table with 3 other people. Perfect numbers for the activity which would require groups of 2. Stop. In walks this old man 20 minutes late..wanders around before finally joining our now group of 3.

Smells like an old man, unwashed clothing smell, long gnarled fingers with nails like dirty spades. Sits down...makes the simple activity more than complicated.

He spies my coffee in its styrofoam cup. Reaches over and places his dirty finger on the lip of my cup, "Where can I get one of these?", he says.

"Why not just have mine, since you put your dirty finger pretty much right in it?", I think to myself, spinning the cup around and drinking from the opposite side.

He comes back with a styrofoam cup and does a reachover on me and asks, "Can I have some of this?", reaching for my water bottle. I'm like, "There is a table full of water just over there", trying not to sound too abrupt.

THEN, during this particular ice-breaking activity, in which the other group member and I had just been "experts" on Friday night fun and weekend activities, he is assigned the role of expert on summer activities. Seems easy enough, but he then proceeds to inform us that he doesn't play sports or do much of anything besides evangelical work, spreading the gospel far and wide to children all over the area.
For us sinners who had just spoe of patio bars and happy hours, this was an obvious left turn.

Now don't get me wrong, to each his own. Evangelical work and fingers in my coffee aren't really my thing. You can imagine that during this whole episode, I was honestly doing my best not to laugh, holding my lips tight together and trying not to make eye contact with the girl in my group, who I sensed saw this entire thing as utterly hilarious.

And, just for you P Guy, I spent the whole time thinking...."What would Guy do?".

We packed up, and he left us all with brochures on the work of God in our lives, including the young man who pulled out into the road on his motorcycle and was shred to pieces by an oncoming car.

Mmmmmmmmmm....Pi

Student Recites 8,784 Digits of Pi

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060316/ap_on_sc/pi_prodigy

Gaurav Rajav, 15, had hoped to recite 10,790 digits and set a new record in the United States and North America..."I'm kind of disappointed, but I guess I did OK," said Gaurav, a junior at Salem High School.

OK???! Crap, I can barely remember my postal code...let alone 8,784 digits of a non-repeating number.

Gaurav's parents promised him an XBox 360 video game console if he had reached his goal. His father, Jogesh Rajav, jokingly offered to get him "an Xbox, but no game."

Ouch....no game! Bring the pain.

The Academy Is...

I'll say it again...my new favourite band: "The Academy Is". Their new cd Almost Here is fantastic.

Get into it.

Who's Your Yanni?

This hot off the presses....Yanni Arrested For Domestic Beatdown

I find it hilarious that Yanni is arrested for alleged domestic violence...what's he gonna do..play a really mean mixolydian scale on a harpsichord whilst giving "dagger" eyes?

I found this about as likely as being beat down by David Copperfield...who one would imagine would spend most of the time flying around on invisible cables with his mystical stare....oooooh!

Spring is in the air....

A little bit of sun today, a little glimmer of Spring....

Soon it will be "Goodbye" to my winter peeves...people walking on the streets instead of on sidewalks, people parking 3 feet away from any other cars, thus limiting the already limited supply of parking spots, people who shovel their driveways into the street, etc....

However...have discovered some fab new music in the last couple of days....put these bands in your pipe and smoke 'em: The Academy Is, and Goldfrapp.

Simpsons

If you like the Simpsons....you'll appreciate this.

www.spikedhumor.com/articles/17792/Real_Life_Simpsons_Title_Sequence.html

Woooooooooooooahhhh....we're half way there....

From the newswire today:



Bon Jovi Plane Skids Off Runway in Canada
01/21/2006 4:41 PM, AP

An airliner carrying members of Bon Jovi skidded off a runway early Saturday after landing in severe weather.
The Boeing 707 carrying the band and its touring staff overshot the runway at Hamilton International Airport.
A spokeswoman said the 14 passengers and flight crew were arriving from Buffalo, N.Y., where the band played Friday. No one was hurt.
Shows scheduled for Saturday, Monday and Tuesday at Toronto's Air Canada Center were expected to proceed as planned, she said.

You'd think that the band whose breakthrough album was entitled "Slippery When Wet" would have been a bit more careful.

All the Small Things

In an attempt to keep my mind off of my financial woes..I have began taking greater notice of life's little humorous events...

1. Had the pleasure of seeing a vagrant urinate on a street corner in broad daylight today. Yeah, don't bother going into the building...just find a sweet little nook and let 'er rip. Gross. Even more gross, I swear he reached into his own lake of urine to fish out a cigarette butt. Awesome. (There's a Lake Flaccid joke in there somewhere). Even worse...he made direct eye contact with me in my car as he turned around....he kinda looked like a crazy, homeless K-OS (read: he looked like K-OS). I almost expected a little "Crab in the bucket"...but I guess "Urine-soaked cancer stick in my puddle of piss" would have to suffice.

2. Saw someone riding a unicycle downtown today...through the snow and ice. Aren't unicycles dangerous enough?

Get into it.

New Music...New Books

Have been to the "Letters" by Butch Walker since yesterday...and I love it. Don't be shy to get into the track "Maybe It's Just Me".

I am tearing through "Million Little Pieces" by James Frey....and I was greatly enjoying the book...however, I just read a scandalous article online yesterday attacking the veracity of its contents...more specifically, levelling accusations that the truth was greatly stretched/molded/ and/or fabricated altogether. Regardless, it is still an interesting read.

Where's the beef? Here it is:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0104061jamesfrey1.html

Project Awry

If you appreciate the humor of The Onion, you'll enjoy this:

EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG LISTED

TheYear Ahead

My New year's Resolutions (Revolutions):




1. Conserve money by no longer buying coffee every day. I'll make my own java at home.

2. Play the guitar more...lots more. The thing I once loved so much seems to have fallen on some distant backburner, and it's a shame. Play music, write music, love music.

3. Read more. Whenever I read a great book, I am reminded of how wonderful it feels to lose yourself in a book. Food for the mind.

4. Make changes. Look for opportunities. Dig out of my financial hole somehow.

5. Get in better shape. Just a couple of pounds. The jiujitsu helps, but I need more cardio and less apathy.

Get into it.

The Piano

This is amazing animation..and the song is beautiful...you may recognize it if you have seen the film Amelie. It is called "Comptine d'Un Autre Été" by Yann Tiersen. The animation is called "The Piano" by Aidan Gibbons.

Super Greg!

This is strangely hilarious: http://www.talonse.com/supergreg.swf

http://zmax.org/supergreg/sgdotcom/

Thoughts on Random Things

- For the 2nd time in several weeks, I drove through the Tim Horton's drive through without ordering. Yup, drove right past the little person inside the speaker. Felt pretty smart. See what having children does to your brain?!

- The wait for winter tires. Went to two different crappy tires in the last 24 hours to see about having winter tires put on....the backlog is crazy. Looking at about a 6 hour average wait time.

- Guys who drive pickups and the girls who love them. Was following an old rusty pickup on the highway yesterday and had to laugh to myself at the silhouette through the back window of the truck cab. You can clearly see the guy driving, and then sitting right in the middle of the bench seat next to him is his mall-hair-with-hairsprayed-bangs girlfriend. Not sure why it is so funny, but it is. One can only assume Garth Brooks was playing in his cassette deck.

- I firmly expect to have another run-in with the infamous crazy computer guy. I don't know when....but it's coming.

I'm not the only one....

Was perusing a copy of Maclean's yesterday and turns out...I am not the only one who despises that goofball in the Canadian Tire commercials. You know, the Ned Flanders-esque loser whose always showing his neighbours his tools.

http://www.macleans.ca/topstories/life/article.jsp?content=20051031_114409_114409#continue

Here's his "rookie" card.

http://www.canadiantheatre.com/dict.pl?term=Ted%20Simonett

I Return

Well...I have neglected to post for quite a while...for a variety of factors...wallowing in pity due to underemployment...then the joy of full-time employment, the death of my grandfather, a near death experience at the hands of a flying boxspring...various car-related woes, etc, etc.

Have a list of to-dos that is gathering forces. Have my next jujitsu exam in two weeks, and lots of prep still to be done. I think I will randomly start provoking my neighbours into random fisticuffs.

Random Old-Man Neighbour: "Good morning! Nice day isn't it?"
Me: "Bring it don't sing it...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeotch!!!!!"

Get into that.