Spring is in the air....

A little bit of sun today, a little glimmer of Spring....

Soon it will be "Goodbye" to my winter peeves...people walking on the streets instead of on sidewalks, people parking 3 feet away from any other cars, thus limiting the already limited supply of parking spots, people who shovel their driveways into the street, etc....

However...have discovered some fab new music in the last couple of days....put these bands in your pipe and smoke 'em: The Academy Is, and Goldfrapp.

Simpsons

If you like the Simpsons....you'll appreciate this.

www.spikedhumor.com/articles/17792/Real_Life_Simpsons_Title_Sequence.html

Woooooooooooooahhhh....we're half way there....

From the newswire today:



Bon Jovi Plane Skids Off Runway in Canada
01/21/2006 4:41 PM, AP

An airliner carrying members of Bon Jovi skidded off a runway early Saturday after landing in severe weather.
The Boeing 707 carrying the band and its touring staff overshot the runway at Hamilton International Airport.
A spokeswoman said the 14 passengers and flight crew were arriving from Buffalo, N.Y., where the band played Friday. No one was hurt.
Shows scheduled for Saturday, Monday and Tuesday at Toronto's Air Canada Center were expected to proceed as planned, she said.

You'd think that the band whose breakthrough album was entitled "Slippery When Wet" would have been a bit more careful.

All the Small Things

In an attempt to keep my mind off of my financial woes..I have began taking greater notice of life's little humorous events...

1. Had the pleasure of seeing a vagrant urinate on a street corner in broad daylight today. Yeah, don't bother going into the building...just find a sweet little nook and let 'er rip. Gross. Even more gross, I swear he reached into his own lake of urine to fish out a cigarette butt. Awesome. (There's a Lake Flaccid joke in there somewhere). Even worse...he made direct eye contact with me in my car as he turned around....he kinda looked like a crazy, homeless K-OS (read: he looked like K-OS). I almost expected a little "Crab in the bucket"...but I guess "Urine-soaked cancer stick in my puddle of piss" would have to suffice.

2. Saw someone riding a unicycle downtown today...through the snow and ice. Aren't unicycles dangerous enough?

Get into it.

New Music...New Books

Have been to the "Letters" by Butch Walker since yesterday...and I love it. Don't be shy to get into the track "Maybe It's Just Me".

I am tearing through "Million Little Pieces" by James Frey....and I was greatly enjoying the book...however, I just read a scandalous article online yesterday attacking the veracity of its contents...more specifically, levelling accusations that the truth was greatly stretched/molded/ and/or fabricated altogether. Regardless, it is still an interesting read.

Where's the beef? Here it is:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0104061jamesfrey1.html

Project Awry

If you appreciate the humor of The Onion, you'll enjoy this:

EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG LISTED

TheYear Ahead

My New year's Resolutions (Revolutions):




1. Conserve money by no longer buying coffee every day. I'll make my own java at home.

2. Play the guitar more...lots more. The thing I once loved so much seems to have fallen on some distant backburner, and it's a shame. Play music, write music, love music.

3. Read more. Whenever I read a great book, I am reminded of how wonderful it feels to lose yourself in a book. Food for the mind.

4. Make changes. Look for opportunities. Dig out of my financial hole somehow.

5. Get in better shape. Just a couple of pounds. The jiujitsu helps, but I need more cardio and less apathy.

Get into it.

The Piano

This is amazing animation..and the song is beautiful...you may recognize it if you have seen the film Amelie. It is called "Comptine d'Un Autre Été" by Yann Tiersen. The animation is called "The Piano" by Aidan Gibbons.

Super Greg!

This is strangely hilarious: http://www.talonse.com/supergreg.swf

http://zmax.org/supergreg/sgdotcom/

Thoughts on Random Things

- For the 2nd time in several weeks, I drove through the Tim Horton's drive through without ordering. Yup, drove right past the little person inside the speaker. Felt pretty smart. See what having children does to your brain?!

- The wait for winter tires. Went to two different crappy tires in the last 24 hours to see about having winter tires put on....the backlog is crazy. Looking at about a 6 hour average wait time.

- Guys who drive pickups and the girls who love them. Was following an old rusty pickup on the highway yesterday and had to laugh to myself at the silhouette through the back window of the truck cab. You can clearly see the guy driving, and then sitting right in the middle of the bench seat next to him is his mall-hair-with-hairsprayed-bangs girlfriend. Not sure why it is so funny, but it is. One can only assume Garth Brooks was playing in his cassette deck.

- I firmly expect to have another run-in with the infamous crazy computer guy. I don't know when....but it's coming.

I'm not the only one....

Was perusing a copy of Maclean's yesterday and turns out...I am not the only one who despises that goofball in the Canadian Tire commercials. You know, the Ned Flanders-esque loser whose always showing his neighbours his tools.

http://www.macleans.ca/topstories/life/article.jsp?content=20051031_114409_114409#continue

Here's his "rookie" card.

http://www.canadiantheatre.com/dict.pl?term=Ted%20Simonett

I Return

Well...I have neglected to post for quite a while...for a variety of factors...wallowing in pity due to underemployment...then the joy of full-time employment, the death of my grandfather, a near death experience at the hands of a flying boxspring...various car-related woes, etc, etc.

Have a list of to-dos that is gathering forces. Have my next jujitsu exam in two weeks, and lots of prep still to be done. I think I will randomly start provoking my neighbours into random fisticuffs.

Random Old-Man Neighbour: "Good morning! Nice day isn't it?"
Me: "Bring it don't sing it...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeotch!!!!!"

Get into that.

Clamp Together for Bondung

You gotta love products made in Korea. I happened to be readig the label on a bottle of dollar store glue the other day (whilst doing some crafts with my kid).

Aside from the blatant mistranslations and spelling errors (apply a heavy cost and clamp together for bondung!)....you will note in the photo below that despite the BOLD claim of being ACID FREE and PHOTO SAFE, it clearly says "Not for photos".


Haha. Idiots.

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

So...no posts for a few weeks. Seems there haven't been quite as many funny happenings lately.

Had two job interviews. Got neither. That sucks. However, got a lead on another extended gig, which if I got it, would take me to the end of the June. That would be sweet.

My grandfather passed away last week. Couldn't be there for that, due to job/financial circumstances, which sucks also.

Went to a big fat Greek wedding on Saturday, which was awesome, especially the hilarity of having a brief clip of my awesome dance moves inserted into the wedding party slideshow.

Keep it real.

Banished, Pt. II

Another one of my peeves...people who bring shopping carts home from the grocery store and just leave them in the neighborhood. These people, just as the sideways-hat-wearing creeps mentioned previously, should be banished.

My open letter to the shopping-cart-swiping-trash:

This tells me:

1. You are fat.
2. You are lazy.
3. You are fat and lazy.
4. You have enough money to buy smokes and Ding Dongs, but you can't fork out the $4.00 for a cab home?! The store is obviously not far from your house, or else you wouldn't have walked home with the cart. I have yet to see an out-of-province cart in my 'hood.
5. I need to move.



6. I need to hire Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys to come do something about these rogue carts in my neighbourhood.

Jiujits-ow!

Just got back from my jiujitsu class. Sometimes I wonder why I subject myself to these types of beatings. I just about blew out my knee coming down from being thrown as shown below.



Click the link for a video clip:

http://www.suginoharyu.com/html/video/ingemar%20skold/Strypning-%20O%20goshi.mpg

Kicking, punching, grappling, arm locks, wrist locks, whatever...it's all pretty fun....but getting thrown is damn hard on your body. Don't try this at home. Ok...maybe just once.

Gone with the Water

Interesting...this article wasn't written as a response to the disaster in New Orleans, it was written last year, a prediction of what might happen...and ultimately did.

http://www3.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0410/feature5/

I am so smart! S...M...R....T!

OK. I just keep finding the most ridiculous things. Case in point, the picture above. This is from a real estate website. I have blurred the agents name and e-mail address to keep her stupidity relatively anonymous, except for her Mary Hart-esque glamour photo. Check out the "languages spoken" section. Wow! 3 languages! Tri-lingual! She apparently is fluent in American, English, and Canadian! Don't worry, in those tricky homebuying contracts, she'll whiz right through major hurdles like differentiating between neighbor/neighbour, and frequent uses of "eh?". If that doesn't kill the competition, I don't know what will!

Ichi Wang

Was at the gym this morning (true story!), when I noticed the wall was now covered in advertisements for upcoming classes/programs. Scanning the wall, I came across one which said

"HATHA YOGA - LEVEL I with Ichi Wang"

I kid you not. The thought that someone with a name that cries out for fun-poking would venture into the world of yoga instruction kills me. Next up will be:

RESOLVE BEDROOM BOREDOM with Felicia O.

Yet Another Reason to Love Borat

http://www.ananova.com/entertainment/story/sm_1509310.html?menu=entertainment.celebrities